


Shameless

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF, gaming - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Depressing, Depression, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memories, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6137896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't wanna hurt you but you live for the pain,"</p><p>or in which Jack gets raped at a club and is too afraid to tell anyone, causing even more problems in his life to appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shameless

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off Shameless by The Weeknd; tw // rape, non consent, depression, anxiety, almost! smut, ptsd, anorexia

Jack's hips swayed as he danced through the crowd, a drink raised high in his hand. There was an unimportant pop song blasting through the speakers, repeating the chorus over and over. It was almost impossible to understand, since everyone was talking and hollering the words to each other on opposite sides of the dance floor. Jack had a huge smile on his face - it was his second night in Los Angeles, visiting his long-term boyfriend, Mark, and everything was going amazingly well - and although he didn't know the song, his arms were up in the air. 

His boyfriend was still at home, promising Jack that he'd wait up for him throughout the night. Mark didn't enjoy clubs - or any social event, really - and demanded Jack go off and have fun by himself, as long as he wasn't cheating. Of course, Jack promised he would think of Mark the whole time, stumbling out the door into the cab waiting for him in the driveway. He was driven to a loud, dark building with people outside on all sides, either smoking weed or making out. Jack got in easily, with the assistance of his I.D. and Irish accent. Now, he was a little bit past _tipsy_ , grinding against some stranger in the middle of the crowd. He didn't realize what he was doing, nor did he realize his phone was vibrating rapidly in his pocket.

A strong, firm hand tugged on his shoulder and his drink went flying to the ground, smashing into pieces. Jack ignored it and turned, grinning. An older man, maybe around the age of 30, was standing there, also smiling. He didn't look frightening in any way, nor did he look violent. The man pulled Jack over to the side of the dance floor and ordered him another drink, whilst the two were making small talk. "I'm Chance," The man smirked, shaking Jack's hand. It was weird, shaking hands with someone in the middle of a club at 2 a.m., but Jack ignored the strangeness of it and smiled anyway. Chance told Jack his story; his ex-wife, Tabitha, divorced him after finding out he was actually attracted to men, taking his two children along. Their names were Emma and Violet, both young females at the age of 4. They were twins.

After hearing Chance's life story, Jack politely excused himself to use the restroom, taking his drink with him. That was something he learned a long time ago. He could hear Chance start up a conversation with someone else, throwing his drink in the garbage can as he went into a stall. Jack quickly finished his business, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the time. It was 3:25 a.m. and Jack made a mental note to start heading out when it turned four. As he stepped out of the stall, standing in front of the dirty, scratched mirror, someone else came into the bathroom. They reeked of vodka, the smell radiating off of them like a nuclear bomb. Jack scrunched his nose up in disgust, washing his hands and turning to grab a paper towel. "Hey, cutie." The man growled, his voice deep and breathy. Jack rolled his eyes. "M' not interested," he spat back, reaching out for the door handle.

The man grabbed Jack's shoulder. It was rougher than Chance's grip and completely different than Mark's. Jack spun around, rolling his eyes. "What do ya' think you're doin'?" He sighed, trying to back up against the wall. The man pulled Jack closer, smirking a little. "I'm getting what I want." The man hissed and Jack shivered. "Leave me alone!" He yelled, pushing the man away. "I have a name, you know. It's James." James rolled his eyes, stepping forward again. Jack pressed his back against the wall, biting his lip. He ignored James' words, squeezing his eyes shut. "I have somewhere to go," He mumbled. James grabbed him again, throwing him up against the door. "Do you think I care?" He answered, holding Jack's arms behind his back. Jack tried to escape, wriggling underneath's James' grasp, but he was simply too strong. 

Jack could hear James' zipper slide down and his eyes filled with tears. "N-No, please," He begged, twisting his hands to try and move away. James wouldn't give up. Next James' pants fell to his knees, not completely to the ground. James spun Jack around, glaring at him, keeping one hand on Jack's wrists and moving another to the shiny button on his jeans. "P-Please," Jack murmured, his eyes brimming with tears. They threatened to spill over and roll down his cheeks, but he didn't want to seem weaker than he already was. "Shut up." James demanded, his eyes glistening with hatred. Jack kept his mouth shut. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket again and sadly, James did too. He moved his hand over from Jack's zipper to his pocket, pulling his phone out. "Is Mark your boyfriend?" He laughed, setting the phone down carefully on the sink. At least he didn't crush it. Jack didn't reply as the tears began streaming down his face and he whimpered. "Please d-don't." 

James' hand went back to Jack's zipper, pulling it down all the way and pushing his pants to his knees like his own. "Stop," Jack pleaded, attempting to push him away again, to no avail. James turned Jack around again, shoving him roughly into the door. A clicking sound came out of the door frame, making Jack shudder. Jack could feel James' hand tracing circles on his ass. Suddenly, Jack's boxers were pushed away and he was completely exposed to the door. "Stop, stop, stop." He demanded, trying to sound stronger than he was coming across. James chuckled, shaking his head. Without giving Jack time to say anything else, James pushed his penis into Jack's hole and Jack cried out in agony, biting his lip to hold back a sob. "S-S-Stop," He sobbed, his voice cracking. James didn't reply, thrusting his penis in and out of Jack's hole faster and faster. Jack sobbed, resting his forehead against the door. Why couldn't someone just try and fucking walk in?

As James reached his high, he came inside of Jack, moaning loudly. Jack wasn't crying as hard now, but the tears were still flowing. James pulled out harshly, pulling his own boxers and pants back up without another word, leaving Jack clinging to the door and fixing his hair in the mirror. "You were good, kid, now move." He demanded and Jack weakly stumbled to the sink, grabbing at his phone as he collapsed to the ground. James just laughed and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Jack shakily put his boxers back on, crying through it all. Every move he made, everything he touched made him cry harder - everything had been touched by James, he, himself had been assaulted by the man. Jack put his jeans back on, pulling his knees up to his chest and leaning against the wall, staring at the bottom of the sink above him. His phone vibrated with a text message and he looked down.  _'I'm going to bed. Love you, sorry. -Mark <3'_  Jack let out a shaky breath, impulsively pressing 'call' on Mark's contact. "Hello?" Mark answered. He sounded tired. "C-C-C.." Jack tried to form proper words, but he broke down in tears again. "Can-" He trailed off, pressing a hand against his mouth to try and calm down. "I'll come pick you up, baby. I'll find you." Mark replied, ending the call. Jack just nodded, holding the phone close to his chest as he cried.

* * *

When Jack woke up, he was no longer in the bathroom of the club. He sat up, making himself dizzy. Taking a deep breath, Jack looked around the room. It was his room, Mark's room. He was back at Mark's. It took him a minute, but slowly, all the memories from the night before came flooding back and Jack started shaking, checking the time on the hanging clock above the door. It was 11:54 in the morning, almost noon. How long had he been out? Did Mark  _know_?

Jack's head was clouded with thoughts and he stood up, shuffling to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair messy. He was wearing a Markiplier shirt and a pair of Mark's sweatpants. Jack washed his hands and his face, waking himself up more. He blinked a couple times, shuffling back out of the bathroom and walking downstairs. Mark was sat on the couch, scrolling through his Twitter feed silently. "Morning, babe." Mark said, without looking up. Jack cleared his throat. "Mornin'." His voice was rough, like he'd been screaming over and over at an event like a concert. Mark patted the spot beside him and Jack sat down, leaning on Mark, who put his phone on the coffee table in front of the two. "You have fun last night?" Mark chuckled, looking over at Jack. "You got pretty wasted. Found you passed out in the bathroom."

_Last night. James. James. James. James._

_Does Mark know? Should I tell him? It was my fault. My fault. I provoked him. I should've just kept my fucking mouth shut. It was my fault. Mark would hate me. He'd break up with me and send me back to Ireland. He'd hate me. He'd never talk to me again._

With crazy thoughts running through Jack's head, he decided it would be best to keep his mouth shut about what happened the night before and move on. "Yeah, I guess. Too much to drink." Jack lied.

* * *

A couple weeks passed and Jack wasn't planning on going back home anytime soon. Mark had agreed to let Jack stay with him for as long as they wanted and neither of them knew exactly when that would be. Every day it got harder for Jack to stay quiet about the rape, especially days when he went outside. Every face he passed in a store, on the street, in a car - they all looked like James. Any of them _could be_ James. Jack also stopped eating. Mark would always fall for his stupid reasons as to why he didn't want anything, without question. James raped him because he was fat. A fat, ugly homosexual from Ireland. Someone who didn't belong.

It was currently a Monday night and Mark had some friends over. Matt, Ryan, Felix, Mary, Ken, Holly and a bunch of others Jack didn't know were mingling outside by the pool and inside by the X Box. He had been out there, having fun with them all when he decided to get into bed. Mark kissed him goodnight and said he'd be in after a couple more hours, turning the music down so Jack could get a more peaceful rest. He couldn't sleep, however. His stomach was rumbling every five seconds - begging to be fed. His mind kept flashing back to moments when James slammed him against the door, pulling his pants to his knees. Jack couldn't get the image out of his head. Within seconds, he could feel the hot tears rolling smoothly down his face, the familiar weight of James' force pushing down on his chest. "Stop," Jack breathed, sitting up. It felt like James was in the room, waiting for Jack to become weak and attack again. His head was spinning, his palms shaking. "Mar-" Jack tried to yell, but no words came out. 

_Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark._

Jack stood up dizzily, almost collapsing to the ground from standing up too quickly. He wiped at his eyes, opening the door. It was bright and he could hear a One Direction song blasting from the speakers, but he wasn't focused on everyone else. He needed Mark. 

People stared at him as he stumbled and pushed through the crowds, but he couldn't see their faces, or hear their words very well and chose to ignore it all. "Mark!" Jack cried, as to finally finding his lover standing next to Ken and Mary, running into his arms. His breathing was heavy and his legs felt like they could give out at any moment. Mark's smiling face immediately changed into worry, patting Jack a little on the back. "Hey, babe, what do you need?" He asked quietly, shooing people away from the scene. "I need to.. talk to you." Jack managed to get out, sobbing into Mark's chest. Mark turned to Ken, muttering something about informing everyone that the party was over and Mark would speak to them individually if needed. "Clear everyone out, turn off the music. You guys can leave once you do that, okay?" He said, leading Jack back to his room carefully. As the two sat down on Jack's bed, Mark turned to the other with a concerned expression. "What's wrong, baby?"

Jack took a deep breath, staring at his hands in his lap. "Remember t-the night when I went to the club? You had to come get me because I was too drunk?" Jack asked, looking up into Mark's eyes. He nodded. "I wasn't drunk. A little tipsy, but n-not drunk. I was f-fine," He paused, sighing. "This man.. I should've told you, I-" He broke down in tears again, leaning onto Mark. Mark pulled away. "You..?" He frowned, his eyes wide. "No, Mark, I didn't cheat. I would never!" He exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously. Mark simply nodded. "I was.. I w-was, I was raped, Mark." Jack admitted. He could feel a weight come off his shoulders almost instantly. "I kept telling him no, telling him to stop, and he.. he didn't. He wouldn't stop." Jack sobbed, staring at the wall. Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mark whispered and Jack could tell he was crying. "I was so afraid, I see him everywhere, Mark. I don't eat. I can't sleep." Jack choked out, leaning further into his lover. Mark laid down, pulling Jack with him. "I could've helped you, I can help you, baby." He said, intertwining their fingers. Jack didn't respond, he was too busy smiling. He leaned in, pressing his lips to Mark's gently. It was the first time they'd kissed in weeks. It was the first time Jack felt comfortable in his own skin and it was the first time he didn't feel the burning eyes of James staring at him from the darkness. It was the first time he genuinely felt _better_.

 

 


End file.
